For Mature Audiences Only II: Historically Vulgar

Sad, hilarious, disgusting and possibly for perverts and sickos... I digress.

You know how overwheaning egos have the power to disinterest the intelligent, right? For years I have found it laughable how blatantly egotistical scientist and their hypothetical presumptions can be. This smug and rather grim attitude has reached its thresh-hold and peaked at humor.

That is, my version of humor. Remember me?
     --The fabulous one with the bad jokes?
I digress.

Perhaps the reason the great pyramids remain a mystery is far more simple than any can allow. Our ancient ancestors hadn't quite developed the necessity for gas powered engines or electrical refridgerators. They did have, however, an impressive desire for accomplishing immortality.

What is immortality but mystery? The greatest and most infectious mysticsm is power and glory. The ability to fashion a structure completely dedicated to the greatness of one's percieved self-image without the ties to and responsibility of aiding or uplifting the communitty in any way is the legend of pharoahs.

Perhaps in overcomplicating the capabilities of the ancients, we limit ourselves. What if the longevity of the architecure is not the size or precision of the stone but, the ingenuity of the compound. Rock is rock; be it limestone, marble or cement. However, to create a liquid adhesive that retains solubility and elasticity while maintaining the properties of a strong bond when dry is divine.

I believe it's very possible that an act of serendipity inspired a sexually active engineer to confirm semen as an adhesive. When this idea made its way to the great pharoah he roared with laughter and pride. He had one hundred sons! This, he thought, was a major accomplishment.

None before him had so many sons. To ensure the immortality of his name and his seed, and as proof of his eternal virility: He and his sons released their man juice into vats that were used to line the troughs that allowed the stones to be moveded up the base of the pyramid and solified into the world's history.

Please use the paper bags under your seat in the event of naseua.
; )

Sometimes, You Just Gotta Say It!

It's official.

Life is complicated and very complex. There are life instances when a "No" just doesn't cut it. Now, in instances of physical harm, a "No" is all that matters. However, it's verbal abuse that is ever more difficult to counter.

As adults and professionals in today's working world, we are not at liberty to hold temper tantrums at the rate of a young child. Even in the event of the hazardous possibility, ask yourself: Do you really want to be a witness to co-worker temper tantrums as a means of acquiring ends throughout your workday? How much salary pay would it take to make such an inconvenience worthwhile?

I digress.

In conversation, we must take an elegant and pointed stand. With the craze of eliminating face-to-face interaction and phone discussions teetering on relative non-necessity, the power of the word has reached an all-time high. Every individual is distinctly aware of said grasp of language. There is a confirmed visual to mental corelation.

So, when we speak to each other the weight has shifted and returned to the power of self. Fewer people attempt the rules of grammatical correctness in favor of the bandwagon that prefers  ignorance and complacency. Accordingly, conversational etiquette echoes psychological laziness.

For some, the sand trap of delusion is all-consuming. These people are loathe to see, let alone admit personal error. In light of stressful situations, a well-meaning confidante can project images of discontent without full recognizing the action. Some of these people are loved very much by people who acknowledge this weakness.

BE INFORMED.

Overtime, this specific brand of verbal abuse will grow weary, whether from the falseness of the claim or sheer respite in sway of innocence. Test your ability to go toe-to-toe against the overweening ego of an unwelcome projection with a short phrase that offers protection and solace to the God you represent.

"I reject your projection and deflect all other claims".

Feel free to substitute/provide your own qualifier as you see fit. The core statement is underlined as it holds the most power. Just because your bff got dumped by her boyfriend, lost her job and her umbrella doesn't mean your life is doomed to fail because you happened to pick-up the phone when she called to vent and the nicest thing she could do in her moment of weakness is curse and damn your decision-making.

Keep in mind, only people who choose to better themselves actually improve. Bringing the delusion to the attention of your loved-one fails to guarantee change. However, you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt if you are willing to continue the relationship.

; )

Paper Covers Rock

So I'm thinking, about so many thousand years ago carving words into stone was the best and most real it got. Painting on cave walls can be covered in new markings. Drawing a line in the sand can be easily wiped away; all it takes is a bit of water.

Someone awoke with the firing consumption: Words can be carried for travel!

How odd this must have seemed after generations of stonecarving. Caves were a challenge as they existed in dark and dank spaces. But stone, it is found out in the open where all can witness. Carrying stones with words on them can prove quite heavy for treks on foot.

Early attempts were simplistic and useful from cornsilks to animal hide. Finally, paper made it to the scene.

Perhaps, with the patience of a few thousand years a plastic apparatus that dries-out and overheats my hands will prove not only relevant but, functionally useful and healthy.

; )

I am a snob.

God saw fit in His infinite wisdom to create two very important things to precede my birth into this world. The first being the 19th Century so that, I am able to eliminate within the comfort of my own home. The obvious and second invention The Good Lord put ahead of me is of the wondrous and exciting 20th Century: Sliced bread-- all the better for containing cheese...

Being a self-proclaimed forward thinker, it is my duty to accept a certain degree of raw investigative research as my personal duty. Of late and for the first time in ages, I chose and offered to pay for lunch after dining with a male associate. He worked in a secondary position and was grateful for the meal. To show his appreciation, he invited me to enjoy a frosty beverage and popular television series at his 'place'.

In all honesty, I expected that he would reveal himself to be a kind person, living by modest means. In simple truth, he is the man who lived without indoor plumbing. I shudder to think how God may prove to me just how appreciative of sliced bread I trully am.

For all of the effort given to freedom and living woithout wants or needs: I am a snob.

High ceilings are sexy, as are hardwood floors. Bathtubs and cabinets and commodes are sexy. Luxury (when well executed) is sexy. Granted, there is a fine line between sexy and ridiculi... I digress.

God bless safety. God bless sexy ; )

Rated: MA for Mature Audiences

Having recently had to defend my choice and inadvertently become a witness to the logic behind the choice of another, I put it to the good people of the world to help formulate an average (median) and therefore an answer to this great debate.

On deciding when to engage in a bit of love in the afternoon, and given two options, is it Wednesday or Friday that makes the better Accessory?

Defending Wednesday: It can be noted that the etymology behind the notion of naming the middle of the week has mythological ties to a fiercely energetic and violent god. Some argue Odin. Others call him Mercury. Either way, making it over the hump of the middle of the week warrants a good shag; friendly poke optional.

Defending Friday: In industrialized countries it marks the end of the traditional work week. It signals the beginning of the weekend. As a manner of celebration, copulation can optimize the following two-day outlook.

So, which day of the proposed two most suits you?